Thursday, March 12, 2009

My Aunt knows

So this week my Aunt visited us and my mom asked if she and my father could tell her I was gay when they all went out to dinner downtown, my aunt was always fine with me dressing up in dresses when I was little and she is a very accepting person, so I told my mom that she could go ahead and tell her. when they were out having dinner I was really nervous, but she took it well and when they got back she told me she was glad that I am her nephew and that god never gives us more than we can handle. She couldn't say anything else on the subject because my brother was in the house, I love being open with my parents and am sad that I cannot be open with my brother.
I have been reading some moho blogs, mostly Scot's and his wife's (they have really good insight), and I've been reading the scriptures every night, and I have also been reading "In Quiet Desperation" its about a gay mormon named Stuart who lived a celibate life and did every thing the church taught, he told his parents about his attraction and they were loving understanding and accepting. but eventually he couldn't stand to live through his struggle any longer and he shot himself in front of his stake center. the book also includes the stories of other gay mormon men who are helped by Stuart's parents. the book and the people in it are all promoting the churches stand on gay marriage, but with all their arguments for SSA as being our trial in this life, I see all the good gay mormons who are needlessly committing suicide because the struggle is too much for them. heavenly fathers wants us all to be the happiest we can be. these men are not happy, whenever I think to myself "I could be happy with a woman" there is such a conflict in my soul that makes me feel unhappy. whenever I think of falling in love with an amazing son of our heavenly father I feel an overwhelming happiness wash over me, when I question those feelings the feelings of turmoil return. I believe that heavenly father wants us to find that special someone whatever their gender may be and start a family and live happily ever after.


  1. I don't have anything in particular to say that relates to this post, but I wanted to thank you for your comments on my blog and let you know that I enjoy your posts and your willingness to share your thoughts.

    Please don't hesitate to let me know if there's anything I can do for you!

  2. We are glad you're here! Remember that God loves you and there is nothing wrong with you. I was watching Prayers for Bobby this morning and it reconfirmed to me that we are all loved no matter who we are!

  3. Not to be a downer, but really? Happily ever after?

    I wonder if God's concept of happily ever after is the same as ours.

    Erm. In any case, welcome to the blogosphere.