so a few days after I came out to my best friend (lets call her Amy), my older brother (lets call him Zane) who has been going to BYU and knows I'm gay but we have never talked about it called me. when I talked to Amy on general conference sunday she advised me to talk to him about me being gay.
I never told Zane that I was gay, this is how he found out. back when I was 15 I started looking at shirtless photo's of men which unfortunately led to gay porn. Never having done something bad on the computer before I did not think to erase the history. my dad found the websites.
So one night just after I had got in bed, my dad comes in and sits on the foot of my bed and says that he found some gay porn websites on the history of the computer, he then asked if it was possibly me and that I might be homosexual. as you can imagine I became super tense the room suddenly seemed to be 100 deg and I had an endless pit in my stomach. I admitted that I had visited the websites, he then told my that he and my mom loved me and would help me get through this ect and he left my room.
so a while later when my mom was on the main floor, I went down to the basement and used Zane's computer to visit a website that had pictures of shirtless of hot male singers actors and models. so not porn but a website no straight male would go to. any way Zane found the website told my dad, who then told Zane that I was gay and it must have been me. so thats how my older brother found out. and we had never talked about it ever. so when he called me a few days after this general conference sunday I was like, "you know I'm gay right?" he answered that he knew, and so I proceeded to tell him that I had told Amy and her reaction to the news. so it was nice to finally talk to him about it for the first time.
I am sad that we have to keep my little brother in the dark about my orientation but at least the rest of my family is loving and accepting.
I Am Not Your Trigger
6 days ago