Saturday, April 11, 2009

I came out to my friend.

so last Saturday we were going to go see Duplicity, and I was planning on telling her on our way there, but she ended up having to work that night. so an hour or two before she was going to leave for work I called her and told her that there was something I wanted to tell her but that I was scared she might tell someone, she assured me that she wouldn't tell anyone, I then blurted out that I was gay and I immediately started crying. she asked me how long I had known and through many tears and sobs I told her. she was very accepting, but the thing that annoyed me was that she thought that if I dated more girls then I could change, I told her that I know that I cannot change and that going on a mission and marrying a woman has not changed others and it will not change me, but I did not press my views on that subject because back in early January I still thought I could change so I will be very lucky if her views change anytime soon.
On sunday she came over to watch conference with my family and beforehand we went for a walk and talked about gay stuff. She asked me to repeat some of that things that I had told her the day before because she had not been able to understand everything I had said through all the crying.
A few days before after I was getting back from a trig test I was thinking about telling her, because a really cute guy had been sitting across from me (his presence was detrimental to my test) and I wanted someone to talk to about it. I did not end up telling her that day which was good because that day happened to be april 1st. a few days after I came out to her she told me that if I had not cried when I told her I was gay she would have thought that it was a late april fools joke.
I am much happier now that I can be completely open with her, it is so wonderful to have someone I can talk with about boys.


  1. Way to go! I'm glad it went well. Keep us updated.

  2. I'm so happy for you. It's normal for her to have doubts and questions and to not understand everything at first, but it sounds like she's trying hard to be supportive and caring, and that's a sign of a good friend.

    I hope you know that you've got friends here in the blogosphere as well. Feel free to email me if you need anything (even just to talk or to unload).

  3. Wow! You did a brave thing! I'm proud of you!

  4. Hey, congrats! And good luck on future tests... guys will always be around, so concentrate. :-)

    I just came out to my friends at the age of 26, rather than 16... more power to you for taking that leap of faith when you did. I regret not telling people earlier, because I wonder what would've been different.

    One thing to realize, though, is that unless you wear a rainbow t-shirt 24x7, coming out is a continual process. Since I came out last year, my sexuality has come up in just about every "comfortable" social setting. In some cases I bring it up, in others, my friends point-blank introduce me with "Hey! Here's my friend G___, he's smart, single, and we need to find a really good guy for him!" I just blinked when someone did that the first time. ;-)

    So congrats again!

  5. Hey Garet, I just ran across your blog for the first time. Looks like you know Scott & Sarah and Dallin, all of whom are good friends of mine. I've added your blog to my sidebar and am going to alert Abe in TX who runs "Mormon Enigma" he's kind of the acknowledged portal for all MoHo blogs. Looks like you're not on his list yet.

    Coming out really is a process, I have learned that too. And if you play your cards right, sometimes it can actually be fun. Sometimes it can be disastrous too, I know, but that's why I tend to take it slow and basically follow a "need to know" approach. I enjoy your blog and look forward to reading more.

  6. Hi, Alan told me about your blog and I've added it to my list of family - welcome to the Mormon queerosphere.

    A couple other places you might want to check out

    North Star - a community for Latter-day Saints dealing with issues surrounding homosexual attraction who desire to live in harmony with the teachings of Jesus Christ

    Gay Christian Network - a nonprofit ministry serving Christians who happen to be lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender

    Both of these groups have communities of members in your age group and are safe environments

  7. Garet, as someone the same age as you, I have to admit I'm just a little jealous of your experience! In all seriousness, thanks for inspiring me to pursue that kind of openness with some of my own friends.